Oh the crock pot of Teresa's of this week. I am not sure if this is normal or I am just getting tired of this straight jacket.
Oh another week of joy. Invited to a graduation party Chris. Yeah, I know it's hard to beleive he is graduating college at Furman. You and he were both so smart, and his mom told me that he liked you alot because you could relate to him even though you were 2 years younger. Well, I just had to pass on that one son, I know you would've been there, but you not being there- I just couldn't take this first step towards life going on. And your cousin-ish, my cousin's daughter is getting married. Had to decline that one as well. I am just not ready. These aren't the ones that will really get me, like your friends who will graduate and get married, but I at least have 2 years for that. But who'd thought that you would be 1/2 way through college now either.
Our neighborhood had a memorial dedication for you and Justin and Emily. You guys would have been so proud- all these people who built a memorial area at the club house so everyone for years to come could know who you all were and how much people loved you 3. I know 3 families who were proud.
Mothers day is sunday, the day you have 1 heart in heaven missing the reason you are 'celebrating' and one heart on earth remembering the reason you are celebrating. That's about as heard as rubbing your tummy and patting your head. Being happy and equally as sad. Grandma has the right plan- work on sunday! But for her to work someone has to have a heart attack, so maybe there is a tiny bit of not nice in that!

I found a poem in the Compassionate Friends newsletter this month, it reminds me of us now.

Norman Rockwell never painted me
At this time of year it always seems that I see families of others' dreams. Every where I look and every ad I see shows the joyful reunions of a family.
With the table laden, good times abound; while families, reunited, gather round- but Rockwell never painted an empty chair and a family mourning the one who's not there.
A season that once was celebrated now makes us feel more isolated. I need TCF so that I can see that there are others just like me--whose feelings about holidays are mixed at best-- whose strengths of will are put to the test. We're loving those that we still hold near- but thoughts of one out of reach- bring a tear.
Even now, amimdst the love and gladness this time of year brings a cartain sadness. I no longer have the 'average' family--
so that's why Norman Rockwell never painted me.
(Kathy Hahn)

7th grade TIP awards at Furman where you got an 1050 out of 1200 on the 'real' SAT. You and grandma. She's missing you more than you could ever know,working heart attacks on strangers so she won't have to think about how much her heart aches without you...